It is said that it's not good, no matter how pleasant it was, to dwell on the past at the expense of moving on in the present.
Agreed.
However, I find that I will forever be viewing the present with relation to the past, and that I will no doubt try to recreate (but not necessarily duplicate) the pleasant experiences that made just a few years ago, a time to remember for the rest of my life.
A noun, as School House Rock tells us, is a person, place, or thing. Thing is too generic, though, so I will stick to describing the first two.
People:
I realize that the older we get, the more we become the person that we were in our younger years. The insecurities, the sensitivities, the quirks, and the characteristics that define us in other's eyes only become accentuated in social circles. People form an opinion of you and it becomes difficult to change unless you develop significant friendships that give others an in depth understanding of who you are. I have found this to be true of the teachers, classmates, and pretty much everyone else that I have met here.
I also think about the type of people I would like to be around as a physician. The school offers a Rural Preceptor Physician track in our third year for all students (including those not necessarily going into rural). The pros: more individualized attention, more self-driven learning. The cons: small town, primary care emphasis (assuming you're not inclined toward either of those things), 8 monts away from classmates. I don't know if I want to practice rural medicine, but a few months removed from Dixon, this option certainly appeals to me more than it has in the past.
I think about Christians that I have met here. The preceptor I had during my recent primary care immersion week grew up in Africa, went to Wheaton College, did med school here in Peoria, and decided to practice urban medicine here. His children are/were homeschooled and they attend a non-denominational church here in Peoria. He strikes me as caring, a little soft spoken, and, in certain social settings, a little awkward. (I suppose this description could easily be a projection of my self-image but that's an entirely different issue). I went sailing with him and a couple friends last weekend, and the friend that owned the boat gave us all writings that amounted to a testimony and stories of faith. I remember reading them later and thinking to myself, "this is totally something that I could see my mom doing...in Chinese of course."
Places:
I could begin with school. I spend lots of time there everyday. Sometimes I'm awake and sometimes I'm sleeping. Often, I'm somewhere in between. I've been to my friend Jin's parents' restaurant a couple times...it strikes me as the type of place I would go often even if there were other restaurants that had better food simply because familiar faces can make the simplest foods taste better. The pastor at the church I have been attending was kind enough to make a key for me so that I could get access to the church piano whenever I wanted. This has brought back memories of college when 24 hr. access to the music building made life that much sweeter. Speaking of piano, I hope to meet up with one of the music professors at the local university here who says that he may be willing to take me on. My time in medical school has showed me that I am unable to give up the piano...as if there were still so much that I need to learn. .
