"home"

I went back up to Chicago this past weekend to spend time with other people's families. One of my high school buddies has to move back to the burbs this weekend to take care of his sick mother. Ironically, his dad and two older brothers are all doctors/doctors in training but for various reasons are unable to be home that weekend. So, my friend, the high school English teacher, was ironically the only one that was able to make it home to fulfill his filial duties. I am thankful that I don't need much to be amused and so I have no problem catching up over running errands for his mom, ping-pong wars, and even the obligatory basement poker night with high school acquaintances. In addition to playing many games of rummy with his mom to help keep her mind off her illness, we even have time to scurry downtown to play some ball with his city friends, which turns out to be an excellent opportunity to remind myself of the extent of my physical decline. Yes, it is 90+ and humid but even I can't blame that for the tightness I feel in my hamstrings.

The next stop this weekend was at my college roommate's parent's house in Naperville, IL. The reason why I am here instead of his place in the city is another family matter--his seven year old cousin from India needs baby-sitting. I am able to spend time not only with my college buddy but also get to see his younger brother and girlfriend who are here for the summer. Not that my friend anticipates having children any time soon, but watching him and his girlfriend take turns reprimanding, teaching, and playing with him gives me that eerie feeling of how fast time has flown by--and as if I didn't need any more reminders, my college buddy's younger brother is going to college next year.

Third stop takes me about 15 minutes south to my another friend's parent's place to meet more college-bound siblings and another girlfriend/fiance. Dave's family has always been pretty fun to hang out with, but at this point of the weekend, this theme of family (and the absence of my own) is starting to gnaw at me. It's hard to precisely define the exact feeling, but even if I am the type that is always trying to not get boxed into a specific category or group, growing up these last couple years has precipitated a sense of isolation that has caused me to yearn for familiarity and withdraw from initial discomfort of new experiences.

Last stop is to see my nephew and niece. I find myself almost envying their ability to play all day with few worries. Watching them grow up gives me the ultimate sense that time passes quickly My nephew is beginning to cry when it's time for people to leave. He hugs my leg repeatedly and I have to stop my own tears as I turn to leave to drive back to Peoria. I hate to say it but I'm not enthralled about third year--perhaps this is why weekends like this one are so bittersweet.